End of a Chapter

As I handed my laptop and security pass to the courier, I slowly closed the door and realized I had nowhere to be on Monday morning. My days of early morning commutes, time entry, client meetings and calendar chaos were over. I exhaled and leaned against the door, asking myself, “What now?” 

After two decades working in Toronto at two of the Big Four accounting firms I knew this chapter of my life was done. And trust me—that part felt good… really good! But beneath the relief there was a simmering anxiety. Had I really just retired? 

Well, the short answer was yes…and no.

Not Ready to Be “Retired”

As the uneasiness crept in, I realized I wasn’t entirely comfortable with the label “retired.” Surely I was too young for that—wasn’t I? Of course, my mind kicked into overdrive, firing off questions like:

• What about money—will there be enough?
• What about my work friends? Our walks for coffee?
• What will I do with my days? What can I do?
• Who am I really?

I hadn’t made this decision lightly—I’d considered many of these questions before walking away. But somehow, the uneasiness lingered. It felt like a tug-of-war between logic and emotion. And of course, logically, I told myself it made perfect sense.

Busyness and Burnout

Even as I revisited those questions—and reminded myself of the answers I’d already come to—the anxiety didn’t go away. I couldn’t quite put my finger on the problem, but I did what I’d always done when things felt uncertain: I got to work.

I had already become a certified professional coach, so I threw myself into launching my own business. I hired a coach, created a program, built a website, went live on social media… Basically, I recreated the busyness I thought I had left behind.

And I nearly burned out. Again.

Until I started asking myself why I felt so compelled to keep going at full speed, I was operating on autopilot. Where was I rushing? What was I trying to outrun-or prove? It was the first time I stopped to really ask myself what I wanted next—not what I should do, but what I truly needed.

Why This Blog Exists

Fast forward to today—and to why I started this blog. I knew I couldn’t be the only one with questions and reservations about what comes after a demanding career.

Like many, I turned to Google, hoping to find resources that could guide me through the transition from busy professional to something new. What I found was mostly practical: financial forecasts, lifestyle planning, bucket lists. All important—but nothing addressed the emotional, psychological, or mindset shifts required when you stop doing what once defined you.

Because the truth is, we often become what we do. So what happens when we stop?

It took time—and some inner work—to challenge my beliefs and redefine what retirement could mean. But I’ve found a path toward fulfillment, and I’m using this blog to share that journey. Writing has always been a passion of mine, and through it (and other interests you’ll discover along the way), I hope to support you in navigating your own transition.

It’s a process. And if you’re feeling the anxiety or uncertainty I did, you’re not alone. You’re in the right place.

What You’ll Find Here

In upcoming posts, I’ll share more about the path I took—new beginnings, unexpected gifts, and the mindset shifts that made all the difference.

If you’re unsure what retirement looks like for you or where to even begin, join me as I talk about how I stepped out of the known and into the possible.

Feel free to comment or share your own experience—I’d love to hear from you.

🌱Becoming Me Again — one step, one story at a time.

If you’d like to listen in, Episode 1: The Door Opens is right below.