The Early Markers

Lately, I’ve been noticing small clues about who I’m becoming. It’s taken some time, but when I pause to reflect on how my life is shifting, there are definite markers present. They make me hopeful — and if I’m honest, a little excited. Excited about what the future might hold, yes, but also excited to be exactly where I am right now.

Ironically, this is one of the markers I’m noticing.

The Old Patterns That Are Quietly Falling Away

In the past, I spent so much time worrying about the future or ruminating about the past that I often missed the experience of the present. There’s a sense of peace that comes when I’m intentionally aware of what’s happening right now. It sounds simple, but it can be surprisingly elusive. When so much of your energy is tied up in what has happened or what might happen, there’s very little left for the moment you’re actually living.

This past holiday season, I felt a calm that had been fleeting in previous years. There were always moments of it, but this year felt different. Where I’d normally be fretting over gifts, menus, groceries, and visits, everything felt… lighter. Easier.

Having a house full of friends and family on Christmas Eve — sharing stories, laughter, and new memories — gave me the kind of fulfillment the season promises but doesn’t always deliver. I was fully immersed. Fully present.

And I am so very grateful.

New Pulls, Curiosities, and Glimmers

Gratitude, another significant marker, has become more present in my life. It shows up in small, unexpected ways — often in the moments I used to rush past.

I’m also finding myself drawn to rich conversations, the kind without time limits or preset expectations. They begin with a simple agenda, but often wander into places I couldn’t have anticipated, revealing layers of insight and connection that stay with me long after they end.

These conversations spark my curiosity and make me want to fold more of this spaciousness into my life. Each one feels like a gentle path of discovery — for me, and for the people I’m lucky enough to share them with.

The Quiet Realization: I’m Not Who I Was, and That’s Okay

When I think about the shifts away from my old patterns and the quiet pull toward new possibilities, one thread keeps weaving through it all: connection. Connection with people, yes — but also connection with my own life. Taking the time to be present, to be immersed, to actually feel what’s happening as it unfolds.

It’s not that I’m connecting with others more often. For a while, I thought that was the source of this growing sense of gratitude. But the truth is simpler: the connections feel more meaningful because I am more present. I’m grateful. I’m awake in ways I wasn’t before. I’m emerging from what, in hindsight, feels like a slightly numbed version of myself.

I’m not judging who I was. I believe I’ve always been who I needed to be at each stage of my life. But now, something is shifting. I’m choosing who I want to be — and that feels unfamiliar, yes, but also deeply refreshing.

Becoming Isn’t a Project — It’s a Noticing

All of this has reminded me that becoming isn’t loud or linear — it’s a noticing. A quiet awareness of what feels true now, and what no longer does. It’s something we can all practice, in our own time and in our own way.

If any part of this mirrors your own experience, maybe that’s enough for now — just the noticing.

That might be the real beginning of becoming — simply sensing what’s shifting and allowing it to matter.

🌱Becoming Me Again — one step, one story at a time.