A New Kind of Strength

The Quiet Shift

I’m not quite sure when it happened, but my body doesn’t respond to my goals the way it used to. And if you’re a woman at the same stage of life as me, you probably know exactly what I mean.

I’m pretty active. I try to eat nutritious meals most of the time, and I get lots of sleep. Being retired has eliminated the stress I used to endure, so it was frustrating when the scale didn’t produce the outcome I was focused on.

It felt perplexing. I think this struck me because I consider myself a logical person. I’ve always been able to conquer challenges by drawing upon my past experiences — the wisdom I’ve gathered over the decades. So why is my tried‑and‑true approach not working now? I was doing all the right things, but I had to be missing something. That’s when I launched into research mode.

Entering a New Hormonal Landscape

My first stop was diving into research. I needed a sanity check — something to help me make sense of what I was experiencing. Everything I found confirmed that I was doing all the right things, but a couple of key points stood out.

The first point was simple but revealing: I needed to be kinder to myself. Of course, we all know that our worst enemies are often reflected in the mirror. I don’t know about you, but have you ever considered how much time is spent being unsatisfied with your physical appearance? It’s never good enough. There’s always something we’re working on. And then, when we look back five years ago, remembering our frustration, we realize that we looked great. And what would we give to have that body back — the one without the physical aches reminding us of our age, or joints that crack and swell with the slightest movement?

The second point was that I’ve entered a new normal — one that involves not just diet and nutrition but hormonal changes. I can’t pinpoint when that shift happened. It seemed to evolve unnoticed at a time when I was consumed with work and stress was a big part of my life.

When I thought about my experiences with hormonal changes, the most significant events were when I had my children. Fortunately, the adjustments weren’t too severe and things leveled off into a new normal at that time. This wasn’t the same.

I took a deep breath and realized I had to stop focusing on what seemed like failures.

The Common Response: Frustration and Self‑Blame

How much value is based upon your clothing size or the number on your scale? What feelings bubble up when you think about being one, two, or three sizes bigger than you were two, five, or ten years ago?

Why do we put such pressure on ourselves to fit into an old norm? Our bodies have evolved into a new stage of life, and with that comes a new mindset. It has to. Otherwise, we feel defeated and frustrated.

It’s easy to see when my friends are being hard on themselves, so why can’t I see when I’m doing it myself?

What we think has a way of shaping our days. Our thoughts stir up feelings, and those feelings influence the choices we make and the way we move through each day.

Reframing Aging as Recalibration

Shifting the Mindset Around Worthiness

Through this process, I’m starting to shift my mindset… and my wardrobe. I don’t know about you, but when I think about what to wear and see a bunch of clothes that “might” fit me soon, it leaves me feeling overwhelmed. What would it be like to open the closet and see only clothes that fit me now and that I actually love? No more decision fatigue. No more trying things on only to discard them because they’re tight. And honestly, who is going to ask me what size I’m wearing? Spoiler alert — nobody.

I’m also becoming more discerning about the messaging aimed at women my age. Whether it’s creams, tonics, diets, or injectables, we’re constantly reminded that we’re not getting younger or skinnier. But why is that the measure of worthiness? I fully support women doing what works for them, but not because they’re made to feel “less than” due to a number — on the scale, on a clothing tag, or on a birthday cake.

This recalibration is about stepping out of those expectations and choosing what feels right for this version of me, not the one I used to be or the one I’m told I should be striving for.

Honouring the Body You Have

Fitness has always been part of my life — from skipping and hopscotch as a young girl to softball, soccer, and golf in my 40s, 50s, and 60s. Movement has always made me feel strong. I look back to when I complained about my weight and see that the judgement has always been there. But now I’m learning to be grateful for the body that has carried me this far.

I get to exercise without joint pain. Sure, I have some mobility issues in my shoulders (thank you, frozen shoulders in my 50s), but I do the best I can, and my body still grows stronger. It’s not the same strength I had at 35 — it’s a different kind, shaped by resilience, experience, and everything this body has navigated.

This is the part I’m learning to honour: not what my body used to do, but what it still does for me today.

Shifting Toward Kindness

I’m learning to meet this stage of life with more acceptance than resistance. My body has changed, yes, but it still carries me through my days, supports me in ways I often take for granted, and reminds me that strength doesn’t always look the way it used to. I’m also learning to slowly shift from harsh thoughts to those that are kinder. And part of that acceptance shows up in the questions I ask myself each day. Instead of limiting my food choices, I ask myself: what meal is nourishing and delicious right now? When it comes to movement, I ask: what kind of exercise feels both challenging and supportive today? And if the honest answer is that I’m not feeling it — for whatever reason — I don’t have to exercise. That is perfectly fine. It’s not a failure. It’s a choice.